Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
