My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize