In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
