p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
