just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
