i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
