I just threw up on my dentist
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
