we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
