She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
