morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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