you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
