do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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