the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
