he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
