i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We are two peas in an std pod
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
