I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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