i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize