before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
