I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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