i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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