I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
