Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
