Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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