babies were throwing up all over the place
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
