what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
