nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize