STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
