he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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