Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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