But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
