We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
