You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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