I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think i peed on brittanys purse
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
