If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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