True but thats because hes a fetus.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
