I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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