Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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