So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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