Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
