and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's never too late to be topless.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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