im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
