This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
