He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
