i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
