How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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