Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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