I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
