i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
