Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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