hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
