I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
