Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
