Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
