8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
