my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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