And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
