I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
