i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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