I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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