it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize