ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
this will be a night to untag.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
