no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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