its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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