when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
