The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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