I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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