so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
