Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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