NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
