I just saw a hot homeless man
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize