then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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