so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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