she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
