She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
